“Bitterness Is A Self Made Prison”
by Ana Adler | Original Blog Post: August 5, 2016
I open my old prayer journals from time to time to see where I was and compare to where I am today. It amazes me how much patience and love God has had with me throughout the years!
I had such a deep and entangled bitter root in my heart for so many years of my life! I struggle with the “forgiveness” thing. You know, the holding a grudge and nursing it for days, weeks and sometimes months? Yeah, that one!
This is what I have discovered… bitterness is a self made prison. You put yourself in there by choice because you can ‘t or won’t let it go. I struggle with the “feeling it” part of the forgiveness. I want to and I choose to forgive, but I don’t necessarily feel “it”. And then that feeling brings me back to the anger and the rehearsing of the “offense”in my mind and I get myself all worked up and I act in ways that are not Christlike.
The person that chooses to remain angry and offended, a la me, is literally putting themselves back in the jail cell. Why do we do that? I am learning slowly but surely how to FREE myself from this self made prison. I hate it there! I want to hate it each time even more when I allow myself to go there. I love to be FREE and full of the Holy Spirit.
I want God to remind me of how much I break his heart when I choose not to let go and forgive. My prayers are that He will break my heart for what breaks His heart. Change me Lord! Give me a backbone so that I am not offended as easily and a willing spirit to please you and glorify you. Remove the prideful ways in me that feel that I don’t deserve “that”. Thank you for being so patient with me God.
Until next blog, I pray you will be blessed with setting yourself free!
Ana Adler led a Women's Bible Studies for 15 years, was the Women's Ministry Leader at her church for 3 ½ years and has been leading Dare To Share since the 2013. She is married to Dean since 1994 and has 3 children, Jon, Jenny and Jake and 4 grandchildren, Jayden, Melody, Bryan and Kylie. You will want to stay up-to-date on her Blog: My Story For His Glory - This is where Ana is transparent and real and shares with her readers all about her struggles, trials, stories and her VICTORIES in Christ. The purpose of this blog is to give her readers hope, healing and faith that our God can move mountains!
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