Grief is not your enemy. It's not a sign of weakness, nor is it something to rush through or avoid. It is sacred, essential work—a God-given process and emotion designed to help us heal, transform, accept and become whole.

In his powerful book Healing What You Can’t Erase, Christopher Cook reminds us that “you can't heal what you won't feel.” These words ring true for anyone who has experienced the ache of loss, whether it's the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the shattering of a dream, a betrayal, disappointment or even the loss of identity.

Most of us were never taught how to grieve. We were told to “stay strong,” “move on,” or “get over it,” "forgive and let go". But the Bible tells a different story. Jesus Himself wept (John 11:35). He didn’t rush past the pain—He entered into it. Grief, when embraced, becomes a sacred pathway to transformation. It reshapes our mental and emotional well-being from the inside out. Transformation is the road to recovery, not behavior modification or will power. Transformation is what happens in our spirit and soul.

Why Grieving Matters

Grieving allows us to acknowledge and honor what was lost. It validates our pain and acknowledges that something deeply meaningful has changed or has been lost. Without grieving, we risk burying our hurt beneath layers of denial, bitterness, anger or numbness. We may function on the outside while silently breaking down on the inside. Feelings that are buried alive never die. Think about that... 🤔

Cook writes that "emotions buried alive never die." When we don’t grieve, the ache and pain does not disappear—it just hides. It hides in our anxiety, our relationships, our addictions, our inability to trust. But when we face our pain head-on with God, we invite Him into the broken places in our soul and our spirit. And where God enters, healing begins. Give Him access to your heart today and invite Him to transform your heart.

My Personal Journey Through Grief

Right now, I’m walking through grief myself—and let me tell you, it is hard work. Some days are very sad and heavy. Some nights feel endless. But I’m doing the work because I know it’s worth it. And I know I’m not doing it alone. The anxiety and depression are real but I am no longer running from it. I am confronting it daily. Inviting God into it 24/7.

Without God’s help, I wouldn’t have the courage to face this pain. You need courage and strength to process every hurt and painful memory. His presence gives me strength. His Word gives me hope. I’ve made a decision to embrace grief—not as an enemy to resist, but as a teacher, a friend, and a guide. It’s showing me things I would have never learned otherwise—about myself, about God, and about the power of healing.

I am holding onto the promise of restoration. I am looking forward to the day I can dance in victory… the day I can smile again with true joy. That day is coming, and I trust that the same God who is with me in the valley will be the One who lifts me up to the mountaintop.

The Transformation in Grieving

Grief is not just about mourning—it’s about transformation. When we allow ourselves to grieve, we give God permission to work in the deepest parts of our soul. He doesn’t waste our pain; He repurposes it. Hallelujah!

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” That renewal often begins in grief. It’s where we lay down our questions, our confusion, and our sorrow, our doubts, and let God reshape our perspective, restore our hope, and rebuild our identity on His truth.

Grieving with God leads us into deeper intimacy with Him. We learn to trust His presence, even in the silence. We begin to see that healing isn't about forgetting the past, but about letting God redeem it. Grief will not erase your past. It will reshape and transform your now.

How to Grieve Well

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
   Grief isn’t linear. It doesn’t come with a timeline. Let your heart feel what it needs to feel. Sadness, anger, confusion, even numbness—they are all valid responses.

2. Invite God Into Your Pain
   Don’t grieve alone. God is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He is not afraid of your questions or your tears.

3. Be Honest in Community
   Healing thrives in honesty. Share your grief with trusted people. Your story may be painful, but it is powerful.

4. Pursue Healing, Not Just Relief
   Numbing the pain will never heal the wound. Ask God to do the deep work—He is faithful to complete it.

Final Thoughts

Your grief matters to God. He sees every tear, hears every unspoken word, and walks with you through every season of loss. Don’t rush through the valley. Don’t deny your pain. Dare to feel. Dare to heal. Dare to share your story.

Because in the end, your story of grief may become someone else’s story of hope.