Forgiveness is one of the most challenging things we are called to do as believers. When we are hurt, betrayed, or wronged, our natural reaction is to hold onto the pain, seek justice, or even desire revenge. But God calls us to something greater—He calls us to forgive, just as He has forgiven us.

So, why is forgiveness so hard? Let’s explore some of the reasons and look to Scripture for truth and encouragement.

1. Forgiveness Feels Unfair

One of the biggest struggles with forgiveness is that it feels like we are letting someone off the hook. We fear that forgiving means saying what they did was okay. But the truth is, forgiveness is not about excusing sin—it’s about freeing ourselves from bitterness.

📖 Romans 12:19 – "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord."

Forgiveness doesn’t mean justice won’t happen—it just means we trust God to handle it in His way and timing.

2. Our Pride Gets in the Way

Pride tells us that we deserve an apology, that we have a right to hold a grudge. But God’s Word reminds us that forgiveness is an act of humility.

📖 Colossians 3:13 – "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

When we remember how much we’ve been forgiven, it humbles us and helps us extend that same grace to others.

3. We Confuse Forgiveness with Reconciliation

Many people struggle with forgiveness because they think it means they must restore the relationship. While reconciliation is ideal, it’s not always possible or wise. Forgiveness is about our own hearts before God, not necessarily about the other person.

📖 Matthew 6:14-15 – "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

God commands us to forgive, regardless of whether the relationship is repaired.

4. We Hold Onto the Pain

Emotional wounds can run deep, and sometimes we relive the hurt over and over. But when we keep replaying the offense, we chain ourselves to the pain. True healing begins when we choose to release it to God.

📖 Ephesians 4:31-32 – "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Bitterness weighs us down, but forgiveness brings freedom.

5. We Forget That Forgiveness Is a Command

Forgiveness is not just a suggestion—it’s a command from God. When we refuse to forgive, we are actually disobeying Him.

📖 Mark 11:25 – "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

Jesus made it clear that forgiveness is essential to our relationship with God.

How Do We Forgive?

If forgiveness is so hard, how can we do it? Here are some practical, biblical steps:

• Pray for strength – "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

• Ask God to change your heart – "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." (Psalm 51:10)

• Choose to let go – Forgiveness is an act of obedience, not a feeling. Trust God to heal your emotions over time.

• Remember Jesus’ example – "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)

Final Thoughts

Forgiveness is hard, but it is worth it. When we forgive, we reflect the heart of God. We are never more like Christ than when we extend grace to those who don’t deserve it—just as He did for us.

Is there someone you need to forgive today? Ask God for the strength to let go, trust Him, and walk in freedom.